When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize