There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
