he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I am naked and annoyed.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
