I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
