If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize