Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
