Banned from zoo.
Again?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
