Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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