I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
