Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize