I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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