Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
