where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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