i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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