Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
