Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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