these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I think pants incapable of making pants work
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
