my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
