just come out here and I will go home with you...
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
