i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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