i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
is it fun? or sober?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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