I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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