I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
she told me i tasted like america
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
