I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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