It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
The best revenge is premature balding
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
