So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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