11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
