I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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