I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
