i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
