are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
