I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
The beer is more important than you right now.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
