Already got asked if we're dating
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
