It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
