Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
