my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
