How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
