i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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