Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
My orgasm happened in two different decades
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
