dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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