My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
