so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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