Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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