...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
