I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
