How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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