So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
