Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize