My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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