Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
