Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
