It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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