OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
