Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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