david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
