I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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