i'm signing you up for texting rehab
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
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